[Nettime-bold] As if...

[Bill Spornitz <spornitz@mts.net>]

>   >    Re: <nettime> Hey wait a minute -- aren't you guys *Canadian*?
>   >    Bill Spornitz <spornitz@mts.net>


>   >    Canadian Holiday Flamewar Erupts
>   >    Bruce Sterling <bruces@well.com>


>   >Date: Thu, 20 Dec 2001 15:34:39 -0600
>   >From: Bruce Sterling <bruces@well.com>
>   >Subject: Canadian Holiday Flamewar Erupts


>
>>
>>>I'm afraid to report that the distinction *Canadian* has taken a
>>>direct hit, *on the home front*, thanks to a number of factors.
>
>>*So you're brazenly *admitting* that ADBUSTERS is Canadian?
>>Ha!  We always suspected it!


The Obvious is your *one true friend*. they're even in the phone book,
which is online.



>   >>Whatever it is we _were_, what we _are_ very quickly becoming is
>   >>estate workers;  keepers of _your_ wells,  bruces@well.com;
>   >
>   >*Speak for yourself, wretched slave of NAFTA and FTAA!  The Well is in
>   >distant, decadent San Francisco, while I live in the Republic of Texas.


Texas? Home-pod of the Great Leader?


>   >>our water
>>>for your thirsty lips and neon lights
>>
>   >*Okay, granted, you nailed the Californians on that one
>>

two-bit sax player/perl hacker 1
sci-fi demigod 0


>   >>  our oil wells quenching your
>>>thirst for speed and convenience;
>>
>>*I don't suppose you frosty Manitobans ever heard of "West Texas Light
>   >Crude," the global benchmark of the Greenhouse Effect


No, we have our own vast Texas called alberta. Recently the leader
there admitted to a drinking problem. His popularity smiled.


>   >  >comes with bullet-proof shell,
>>>interiors designed by your finest ergo-technocrons.
>>
>>*Well, they *used* to be our "finest ergo-technocrons,"
>>but Enron fired all of them last quarter, and now  they
>>stuff cordite into cruise missiles at minimum wage


Oh Yea? Waddabout the Open Source ergo-technotrons? What about them?


>   >
>>>What's that? No problem! How high? - all sold to you, f.o.b. your
>>>place, at your prices.
>>
>>*Look, fella: this plaint will fall on deaf ears, for you're sending it
>>straight to EuroLand.  Get a modern currency, okay?  The one you're using
>>has  a bird on it.


It's a truly beautiful bird. The cbc says it best:

..the beaver, loon and moose evoke more placid qualities, like
industriousness and stubbornness. The loon on the twenty-dollar bill
even looks a bit like a wooden decoy.

A source? Of course:
http://www.cbc.ca/business/indepth/currencies_looklike.html


<nb technophiles: Eudora took the text *the beaver* above and made it 
all red, like a bad word, like... (ooh! it did it again!) )



>>>We are joining the rest of the world, taking our place in the
>>>hollywood line-up of butlers and maids. Of well-keepers. Of butlers
>>>standing in wells. Just trying to get away from the smart bombs.
>>
>>*I can only concur that the end is nigh, and every Torontonian
>>will soon envy Kabul...   Just last week I saw a wretched clan of Nova
>>Scotian migrant farm workers, out in the field with their stoop-hoes...
>>and it was *genetically engineered corn,* that was the real kicker!



No, you don't want Toronto, you want Montreal; it's beauty is
legendary and you can take a bottle of wine into the restaurant when 
you go to eat.  Better still,  -> take Calgary ...they're always 
going on about being the Texas of the North anyway...


seasonally
b

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lumpylabs


ps - perhaps this is <i>apropos</i>[1]:


Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for
an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday,
practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion
of your choice, secular practices of your choice, with respect for the
religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice
not to practice religious or secular traditions at all...and a fiscally
successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition
of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2002, but not without
due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make Canada great (not to imply that
Canada is necessarily greater than any other country, and without regard to
the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual
orientation of the wishee).  This wish is limited to the customary and
usual good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a
subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.  "Holiday" is not
intended to, nor shall it be considered, limited to the usual
Judeo-Christian celebrations or observances, or to such activities of any
organized or ad hoc religious community group, individual or belief (or
lack thereof).



[1] That's French for *topical*, or *pertinent*.
Canada is officially bilingual; it's something else we share with the 
great state of Texas...






>   >------------------------------
>>
>>Date: Thu, 20 Dec 2001 11:10:02 -0600
>>From: Bill Spornitz <spornitz@mts.net>
>>Subject: Re: <nettime> Hey wait a minute -- aren't you guys *Canadian*?
>   >
>>Friends;
>>
>>I'm afraid to report that the distinction *Canadian* has taken a
>>direct hit, *on the home front*, thanks to a number of factors.
>>
>>Whatever it is we _were_, what we _are_ very quickly becoming is
>>estate workers;  keepers of _your_ wells,  bruces@well.com; our water
>>for your thirsty lips and neon lights, our oil wells quenching your
>>thirst for speed and convenience; comes with bullet-proof shell,
>>interiors designed by your finest ergo-technocrons.
>>
>>What's that? No problem! How high? - all sold to you, f.o.b. your
>>place, at your prices.
>>
>>We are joining the rest of the world, taking our place in the
>>hollywood line-up of butlers and maids. Of well-keepers. Of butlers
>>standing in wells. Just trying to get away from the smart bombs.
>>
>>
>>hohoho
>>b
>>
>>
>>
>   >------------------------------
>

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