t byfield on Mon, 13 Jan 2003 02:27:38 +0100 (CET) |
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<nettime> ur-europanto redivivus: FT on clinton |
"'novus economicus' salutavit." cheers, t <http://news.ft.com/servlet/ContentServer?pagename=FT.com/StoryFT/FullStory&c=StoryFT&cid=1039524323024&p=1012571727269> Finis coronat opus Published: January 9 2003 4:00 | Last Updated: January 9 2003 4:00 With the death of Lord Jenkins of Hillhead, a vacancy has arisen for the chancellorship of Britain's oldest university. The name of Bill Clinton, a member of University College, Oxford, has been proposed as a candidate. Here at last is a chance for the former president to get back into the electoral fray. The election, in which all 50,000 or so living graduates are eligible to vote, may prove irresistible to the former president. And if he does run he will surely prove irresistible to the voters - again. Traditionally Oxford's Public Orator heralds such great occasions with a Latin citation. Here is a preview. "Magnam gaudeam nuntio vobis. Habemus Cancellarius! Guilelmus Clinton est, quondam collegium universitatem discipulus et imperator stati americani consociati. "In res publicis et civitatis homo erectus stupendus ut in mens et in corpore. Philosophus profundus, per exemplo, 'Quae quod significatio verbi "est" est?' "Libidensis gigantem, sed sub uxorem potenta et bellicosa, Hillaria Rodham, multos annos laboravit. "Gubernator arkansensi, scandalos multos tenebat, notabile AquaAlba realtoribus, monti Ozarki. "MCMLXXXXII electio americano ipsorum scandalorum et aliorum survivit. Herba marijuana fumerat (sed non inhalerat), legionus Americanus evaderat, cum multibus feminibus dormaverat. "Autem, per celebrissimo dicto, 'Res economicus est, Stupidus,' vincit imperator americanus George Bush, pater imperatori hodie maxime crassi et periculosi, quoque George W. Bush. "Regnum Clintoni benignus erit. In rebus domesticis deficit reductio fecit, Securitatis Socialis salvatus, gigantum mercatus taurus supervisus est, 'novus economicus' salutavit. Simul, in rebus internationalismus bonus erit. Multilateralismus conducit. Cum amico intimo Antonius Blair, primus ministrum britannicus, Viam Tertiam creavit. "Sed Eheu! Magnum disastrum suscepit sua maxima culpa. Per noctem, Novembre MCMLXXXXV Alia Occidentalis Domus Albus laborante, sibi pizza donata est a Monica Lewinsky, puella pulchrissima, sensuosa californicante, fellatrix superiore. " 'Non coitus est cum hac femina,' dixit. Sed, per laborem longus et penetrante Kennethi Starri, procurator independentus, et senatoribus Republicanis agitates, testimonia inculpata; togam maculatam, cigarrus grandus, revelata sunt. Domus Representatis imperator Clinton defenestrare tentavit. Senatus, 50-50 divisa est, absolvit. "Deinde, pontem centuria XXI construit, sed per Bush Filius, Enron, OrbCom et al, post brevi tempore deletus est. "Semper, factio Democratico Americano, mutatis mutandis universitato oxoniensi fortasse, multi denarii petet. Gratias agimus. "Ergo Cancellarius Universitatis Oxoniensi! Mentor feminae juvenaliae britannicae! Clintonus Maximus! Ave! Genuflexamus! Qui officum donari salutant!" # distributed via <nettime>: no commercial use without permission # <nettime> is a moderated mailing list for net criticism, # collaborative text filtering and cultural politics of the nets # more info: majordomo@bbs.thing.net and "info nettime-l" in the msg body # archive: http://www.nettime.org contact: nettime@bbs.thing.net