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Re: <nettime> Re: executed-coat-thief
Carl Guderian on Thu, 16 Oct 2003 17:54:08 +0200 (CEST)

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Re: <nettime> Re: executed-coat-thief

On 21 January, 1793 (2 Pluviose?, Year I of the Republic, One and
Indivisible), Citoyen Louis Capet was beheaded. Absent other notable
prunings of the Royal family tree, Europeans could combine, as Americans
did with Presidents' Day (combining birthdays of Lincoln and Washington)
the two regicides into one January holiday. But late January is just the
worst time for a holiday. All the post-Christmas sales are early-mid
January, and most people don't get paid until the end of the month.

But why not turn the royal family itself into an emblem of modern Europe
(a New/Old Europe, if you will)? Replace the crowned heads with a single
monarch, like the Holy Roman Emperor, but with a modern twist. Europa I
would be a hermaphrodite cloned, quickened and decanted from the genes
of the rulers (or pretenders, in republics) of each EU member state (if
the EU expands again, DNA from new countries goes into Europa II, the
next iteration). The U.S., thanks to short-sighted government policies
concerning genetic research and failed corporate strategies for
exporting GM technology to Europe, is ceding its lead to Europe.
Naturally, European geneticists would screen for funny lips,
haemophilia, and talking to trees.

So that Europa I, II,...,N would have the pick of palaces and rotate hir
presence among them, existing royal couples would be pensioned off and
each given the second best palace in their respective countries. They
and their immediate families would get modest but comfortable stipends
and perform local ribbon-cutting ceremonies, etc. The rest would just
have to get jobs. Local Old Boy/Sloane networks will see to them.

Messieurs and mesdames, Europe is being handed a golden opportunity.
Think of the tourist draw!

I sorta got the idea from Gore Vidal's 1960s novel "The Judgment of

King Carl

Brett Shand wrote:
> On Tue, 14 Oct 2003 18:28:22 +0100, jorn.ebner {AT} britishlibrary.net
> wrote:
> >
> >> Von: richard barbrook <richard {AT} hrc.wmin.ac.uk>
> >>
> >
> >> Rather than refighting ancient faction fights, it's more
> >> interesting to question why the English don't have their
> >> equivalent of the 14th July and 4th July holidays: an annual
> >> celebration of the modernising revolution. Even though it
> >> happened over three centuries ago, our ruling elite is still
> >> embarassed by this inspirational moment in our history. Apart
> >> from it being so cold in mid-winter, I like the suggestion that
> >> we should celebrate 30th January: the day in 1649 when the tyrant
> >> king was executed for his crimes against the people. If nothing
> >> else, this date would prevent the holiday's recuperation for an
> >> official ceremony which included the current royal family...
> How about February 13th?
> --------------------------------------------------------------
> An Act Declaring the Rights and Liberties of the Subject and Settling
> the Succession of the Crown:
> Whereas the Lords Spiritual and Temporal and Commons assembled at
> Westminster, lawfully, fully and freely representing all the estates
> of the people of this realm, did upon the thirteenth day of February
> in the year of our Lord one thousand six hundred eighty-eight [old
> style date] present unto their Majesties, then called and known by the
> names and style of William and Mary, prince and princess of Orange,
> being present in their proper persons, a certain declaration in
> writing made by the said Lords and Commons in the words following ....
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> This is the preamble to the English Bill of Rights. Didn't include
> rights for Catholics too much, but then you can't have everything in a
> national day, can you :) And it's the day the constitutional monarchy
> started ... another good idea that didn't quite work out.
> Brett

Games are very educational. Scrabble teaches us vocabulary, Monopoly 
teaches us cash-flow management, and D&D teaches us to loot the bodies. 
-- Steve Jackson

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