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<nettime> becoming something else
lotu5 on Fri, 23 May 2008 04:39:54 +0200 (CEST)


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<nettime> becoming something else


Hello. Thank you for the applause and the compliments,
Thank you all.
It's so nice.
Welcome to my becoming.

But what are you complimenting? Who are you complimenting?
Do you know who or what I am?
Then maybe you can fucking tell me.

I know a lot better who I want, than who I am.
Maybe we can find it under here? under these clothes?

Maybe we can find it by adding on some layers?

Where? Who?! Do you know? Do you know?! Maybe you can tell me.

I think they call this Gender Dysphoria.
How do you tell the difference between wanting tits, and cunt,
and wanting them in your mouth,
and wanting them against your face,
and wanting your own?
How close can I get to them?

I used to think I knew what I was,
who I was.
I used to think
I knew
who I was.
think
I knew
something
but
no.

Then I found something else.
Then, I used to claim this space of inbetween genders.
Now I don't fucking know anymore.
How can I decide what I want to be? If I don't know who I am?
Now I think I want to explore that space inbetween sexes.
Its a fucking scary space, with a lot of cutting, bright lights, white
coats and green gowns.
But maybe it's a beautiful space, of waking up in the morning,
looking down at your legs,
in the sunlight, in your sheets,
and inbetween them,
and seeing something else.

What about the space inbetween species?
What about inbetween worlds?

How do we become something else?
HOW?!
DO WE BREAK OUT?!?!?! OUT?!?!?!
Can we?
Or are we stuck here,
in these bodies, in these streets, with these laws, these cops, these jobs,
these wars, this exploitation.

Maybe, if I can scream loud enough, I can get out.
Scream loud enough.
Maybe I can sing, s-s-s-s-s-iiiii-nnnnnnn-g-g-g-gg-g-g-g-gg?g
m-m-m-m-m-my-y?y-y-y wwwwhhhh-aaaaa-a-a-a-a-y out.
Maybe I can dance my way out.
Maybe I can cut my way out.

Maybe I have to build a tunnel, and build the place it ends.
Maybe if I kiss you,
if we fuck,
we can explore our own tunnels
and our own holes,
and we can create that place together,
and together
become
something
else.

--

blog: http://technotrannyslut.com


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