<nettime> Monsterdigest: Net legends, et al. # 2

[nettimers_anonymous <nettime@bbs.thing.net>]

1.....      Your Customer made Trojan Horse Program
2.....      New Win 98 Error Messages
3.....      Real Business
4.....      Male Sexual Secrets Book- Improve Your Sex Life
5.....      Get Involved! Celibrate National Techies Day!
6.....      Professionails meeting Professionals
7.....      Don't get ripped off!!! There's only one INTERNET SPY and you...
8.....      Roundtable Dinner Series
9.....      Necessary Information
10...       FAQ about FAQ thumpers
11...       Check this out quickly and respond!
12...       To $pam, or not to $pam: that is the question
13.         hey wassup owNEr NEttIME L ;)


1. Subject: Your Customer made Trojan Horse Program

You can't affonowing these facts!
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2. Subject: New Win 98 Error messages

Error1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue
Error2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
Error3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
Error4. Press any key except..... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
Error5. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.
Error6. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
Error7. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
Error8. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
Error9. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now?(Y/Y)"
Error10. This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world.Please logoff."
Error11. To "shut down" your system, type "WIN".
Error12. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
Error13. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
Error14. CONGRESS. SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington D.C.?(Y/Y).
Error15. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Error16. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
Error17. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF:Incompetent User.
Error18. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Error19. WinErr 16547:LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
Error20. User Error: Replace user.
Error21. Windows VirusScan 1.0-"Windows found: Remove it?(Y/N)
Error22. Welcome to Microsoft's world- Your Mortgage is Past Due....
Error23. If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns
         you and all your future creations. Doesn't it feel nice to have 
         security?
Error24. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software
         titles have been deleted. The police are on the way.

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3. Subject: Real Business

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4. Subject: Male Sexual Secrets Book-improve Your Sex Life

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To be removed from our e-mail list please call 800-965-4885

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5. Subject: Get Involved! Celebrate National Techies Day

Are you a techie? Chances are if you're a CNET Dispatch subscriber,
you either are one or you greatly appreciate what they do. And for
good reason. Techies are changing the way we work, play, shop,
govern, parent, teach and explore. Never before in history has
one industry contributed so much to the way we live our lives, or
to the health of this country's economy. Employment in core IT
occupations has grown six times faster than the overall U.S.
job growth rate. However, the number of tech jobs continues
to way outstrip the number of techies to fill them. It would not
be overstating the problem to say that the shortfall we are witnessing
will pose a serious threat to our national well-being over time.
Here at CNET, we believe we can help by making technology training a
priority in our schools, and by making today's techies the role models
for the next generation.

So CNET, in alliance with techies.com and other leading, like-minded
companies including Compaq, FedEx and Information Week, established
National Techies Day. This national event, which will take place on
October 5, 1999, is intended not only to recognize the important
contributions tech professionals make to all of our lives, but to bring
attention to the pressing need for educational programs that interest
young people in seeking tech jobs and offer them the specialized
training they need to prepare for tech careers.

National Techies Day's success is based in large part on an active
volunteer effort by the tech community, as well as good old-fashioned
word of mouth. Beginning today, at the National Techies Day Web site,
<http://www.techiesday.org, you can download a National Techies Day
Activity Kit packed with ideas and information about how to involve
your company and your community in this event. You can also register
to nominate your best techies for the Techie Team of the Year
Competition which will be announced on National Techies Day.

>From organizing a Dorito-fest for your team, to fielding a techie task
force in your local schools, I hope you will consider how you can get
on board with Techies Day. With your help, we hope that National Techies
Day will become the country's largest pat on the back for techies and in
turn inspire young people to become the builders of our future.

Thank you in advance for helping to make National Techies Day a
success.

Halsey Minor
Chairman and CEO
CNET, Inc.

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6.  Subject: Professionails meeting Professionals

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We also have a private chat room. This is used by our members as often
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** If you are interested please follow these instructions carefully **

Just write us back with the title..HOW CAN I JOIN?.. in the subject
section of your letter and your E-MAIL ADDRESS in the context section ONLY!
at this address.
http//:TWOGETHER@BIGFOOT.COM <mailto:http//:TWOGETHER@BIGFOOT.COM

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7. Subject: Don't get ripped off!!! There's only one INTERNET SPY and you...

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8. Subject: Roundtable Dinner Series

Hello again,

As promised, Alexander and I are continuing our roundtable dinner series.
Given the excellent turnout of the last dinner and the wonderful feedback we
received from all of you, we believe the series has a definite purpose.

* If you do not know about these dinners,
please jump down to the bottom of this e-mail. *
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Alexander and Janice Partnership Roundtable Dinner Series
-- Tuesday, September 28, 1999 --

Our Apartment's Rooftop Party Room (enclosed)
189 West 89th Street
(entrance on AMSTERDAM between 89th & 90th)
6:30pm dinner -- 7:30 dialogue
$50 includes food (homemade by us) & drinks

** Please RSVP by responding to this e-mail **

TOPIC: Accessing the Wisdom Within

Throughout our lives we are taught to use proccess thinking as a means to
capture information and generate knowledge. Among other things, this helps
us to "know the answer" and "be right."

But what about intuition, insights, imagination, creativity and innovation?
Where do these come from?

We believe the source of these is Wisdom. And keeping true to the theme of
this series, partnership, we believe connecting to our Wisdom greatly
facilitates true partnership with others and ourselves.

On September 28th, join us in an exploration and experience of this source
called Wisdom.

as is always...

We are limiting the number of attendees in order to maximize participation
and dialogue. We were over subscribed last dinner so please let us know
ASAP if you plan to attend by responding to this e-mail.

Please do not pass this invitation around. You are being invited
personally. However, if you would like us to invite someone you
believe would be interested in the topic, please let us know.

See you there,
Janice Caillet (Gjertsen) & Alexander Caillet

Interesting Links:
Psychology of Mind, Health Realization <http://www.pomhr.com/
<http://www.womenofwisdom.com/
<http://www.jamming.com/

Books:
Realizing Mental Health: Toward a New Psychology of Resiliency
by Roger C. Mills
The Heart Aroused by David Whyte
Jamming by John Kao
Journey into Healing : Awakening the Wisdom Within You by Deepak Chopra
A series of books: <http://www.wisdompubs.org/

**** CONFUSED??? Wondering who we are? ****************************
* *
* We have either met before, worked together before, *
* one of us received an e-mail from you, *
* someone mentioned that you might be interested in the topic *
* or we haven't met but we respect who you are *
* and believe you might be interested in the topic. *

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9. Subject: Necessary Information

"That which seems the height of absurdity in one generation
often becomes the height of wisdom in the next."
John Stuart Mill (1806-1873)

The informed people in our society will be among the
wealthiest in the coming era. I have the necessary information to be one
of them, do you? Knowledge is Power. The Power to get your Freedoms back.

2-minute message explains more.
Call Now 24 hrs. 1-800-995-0796, ext. 2728

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10. Subject:  FAQ about FAQ thumpers

Author: MACV
Date: 8/31/95

Introduction. In my years of computing experience which began back in
the days of the Coleco Adam, I've had the pleasure of meeting many
helpful folks who shared my love for these wonderful machines that
have changed our lives so much. I've had the privilege of running my
own BBS for many years and then I made the transition to being in on
the ground floor of one of the first ISPs in my area. During my years
of experience online I've always found that a certain personality type
kept turning up regardless of what online venue I was using. As a BBS
sysop, there were always a few people who wanted to "help" me run my
board.. Once the internet became a household word, I started noticing
the same types of "helpful" people popping up in just about every
newsgroup I'd examine. Unlike those who irritated me on my BBS though,
since these folks had no sysop to tell them their "help" was unwanted,
they became emboldened and completely abandoned the facade of trying
to be "helpful." Thus, emerged the FAQ thumper. Thus, also, came the
need for this FAQ.

This FAQ will most likely contain a lot of omissions, so I hope that
its readers will feel free to add to it as time goes on. Unlike the
FAQs that the FAQ thumpers regard as their Holy Grail, feel free to
fold, spindle and mutilate this document as you see fit.

NOTE. This FAQ applies solely to unmoderated newsgroups.

Q. Where did the term "FAQ thumper" come from?
A. When I first encountered these strange people who could quote their
newsgroup's FAQ verbatim and did so at every chance that presented
itself, I was instantly reminded of the born-again Christian types
I've known throughout my time. Like "Bible thumpers" who can recite an
appropriate verse from Scripture for almost any topic of conversation
that they are presented, the FAQ thumpers exhibit the same skill and
fervent zealotry as their Christian zombie brethren in embracing and
quoting their hallowed FAQs.

Q. Who appointed/elected the FAQ thumpers?
A. Nobody! It's a job they took on by themselves. These wanna-be
dictators of cyberspace don't even enjoy popular support in most
newsgroups they infest.

Q. Why do they take on their self-appointed roles?
A. Mainly to enjoy the illusion of power. There are other reasons
(covered later), but the desire for some measure of authority is the
essence of their motivation. Chances are excellent that this tiny
minority of aspiring cybercops have little in the way of power in
their real lives so they desperately attempt to fill that void on the
net.

Q. Do they have any real authority? In other words, do they present
any threat to me?
A. None whatsoever. Despite their threats about complaining to ISPs,
they realize that no ISP is going to dump a paying customer on the
basis of some self-righteous twit lodging a complaint about your
violation of an FAQ. It would be a different situation if you were
posting porn someplace where it doesn't belong or spamming a newsgroup
with commercial ads, but any reputable ISP would promptly dump any
complaint about anything as utterly trivial as posting requests or
questions anywhere. Furthermore, complaints about newsgroups of
"questionable" repute are almost universally dumped by ISPs regardless
of what sort of so-called abuse is taking place within them.
"Questionable" newsgroups are those which are magnets for people
engaged in the distribution of either pornography or copyrighted
materials such as "warez," or media products which have been digitally
copied (mp3, mpeg, wav, jpg etc.). Complaints from such newsgroups are
viewed by ISPs as the proverbial "pot calling the kettle black" types
of indictments and are generally sneered at,... if they receive any
attention at all.

Q. Why do they use such threats if they can't really get action from
most ISPs?
A. Simple. Such threats are very effective when leveled at novice
internet users. The FAQ thumpers are essentially cyber versions of
schoolyard bullies without the muscle to back them up. Since a
newcomer to the newsgroups has no idea of how things work until
they've been around for awhile, if someone pounces on them and makes
ominous-sounding threats, until they learn they really have little to
fear, they acquiesce to the bully's demand... at first. A good
analogy is to watch the way someone who has never been stung by a bee
or wasp reacts when one flies around them as opposed to how someone
who has been stung reacts.

Q. Are their any types of complaints other than spamming or posting
pornography inappropriately that are taken seriously by ISPs?
A. Yes, but the effectiveness of the complaint is nearly always
dependent upon the content of the newsgroup it concerns. In other
words, if you post messages containing profanity in a newsgroup which
contains "adults only" content such as those newsgroups dealing with
pornographic images or texts dealing with sex acts, your complaint
will be given no attention whatsoever. On the other hand, if you post
that same kind of profanity in a newsgroup dealing with intellectual,
family-oriented or religious subjects, a complaint against you has a
much better chance of getting you warned or summarily dumped by most
ISPs. Usually, you'll receive a warning e-mail before any decent ISP
dumps your account though. Any ISP that terminates your account
without first giving you a chance to present your side of the story
isn't one you want to pay your hard-earned money for, so if you do get
summarily dumped, consider it a favor from the dunces who run such an
ISP.

Q. I've seen claims on the part of FAQ thumpers that their activities
act as a bulwark against the newsgroup being overrun by spam. Is that
true?
A. Not at all. Spammers generally aim their efforts at newsgroups
based on how germane to what they are peddling the content of the
newsgroup is. A small amount of spam is therefore the norm in just
about every newsgroup on Usenet. The only time spam "overruns" any
newsgroup is if it proves lucrative for the spammers to advertize
their products and services in it. For instance, you see little, if
any spam in the newsgroups dealing with "warez" and other copyrighted
materials because the last thing a software maker or media artist
wants to do is attract attention to their products in areas where
their product might wind up being freely distributed without any
generating any revenue.

Q. Do FAQ thumpers have any positive effects whatsoever in the NGs
they try to control?
A. On the contrary, they normally do far more harm than they do good.
Even the most casual examination of NGs where FAQ thumpers are most
active will reveal a much higher number of unproductive and genuinely
"off-topic" text posts taking up bandwith and making life miserable
for those seeking the kind of help or files the newsgroup is
presumably designed to provide. FAQ thumpers behave like packs of
wolves waiting to pounce upon the weakest members of the herd. Once
one does so, the rest pile on the targeted prey so that a single
alleged infraction of their revered FAQ generates dozens of "read the
#!!!$*&!! FAQ you #%$^!!!*{?!! newbie!" type posts. Inevitably, people
who don't take kindly to cyber-fascism chime in to defend the poor
novice the FAQ thumpers are gang-banging so that the initial flurry of
admonishments winds up generating an exponentially growing number of
counter responses. Egotists that they are, FAQ thumpers never let
anyone get in the last word besides themselves, so they invariably
respond with rebuttals to anyone who comes to their victim's defense.
Compounding the problem further is the fact that many FAQ thumpers are
very prodigious in their zeal to police their little domains. It's not
at all unusual for a single FAQ thumper to post over 50 messages a
day.

Q. Do FAQ thumpers also contribute "on-topic" posts to the NGs they
patrol?
A. One would think that those who profess to be most dedicated to the
well-being of a NG would also be amongst the most prolific
contributors of assistance and files, but alas, this is universally
not the case. In fact, FAQ thumpers are generally little better than
so-called "lurkers" when it comes to actually contributing content to
their NGs. Hypocrisy is an integral part of the psyches of most FAQ
thumpers. Their real interest in most NGs is to flex their imaginary
muscles by sniping at others.

Q. Being an FAQ thumper seems to be a huge expenditure of wasted time
and energy. There's just got to be more to their motivation than the
illusion of power. What else drives these creatures?
A. There are a lot of frustrated, lonely and secluded people in our
society. Many of the most active FAQ thumpers are likely to be
unemployed people living off of personal assets and/or government
assistance. It is entirely plausible that many are shut-ins who are
permanently disabled. This may seem like a cheap shot, but two things
are obvious about FAQ thumpers. They all seem to have far more time
to spend at their computer keyboards than most of us do and they all
carry around chips on their shoulders. Some disabled people remain
very bitter about the cards fate has dealt them and are in an ideal
position to devote large amounts of time to cyberspace. What better
way to feel connected while in seclusion than to participate in the
online community and what better way to experience the illusion of
being empowered when one is feeling otherwise helpless?

Those FAQ thumpers who are not shut-ins are almost necessarily loners
with little in the way of a normal social life. Think about it. What
time could such people possibly devote to socializing after working an
8 hour day and then spending so much time ferreting out as many FAQ
transgressors as they do on a daily basis?

In any case, FAQ thumpers are universally people with severe emotional
problems. You couldn't pay most of us to sit at a keyboard for hours
at a time every day with the sole task of composing messages that
almost always drip with sarcasm, condescension, anger and
self-importance. No mentally healthy person would dream of taking on
such an onerous chore of their own volition.

PARTING ADVICE. FAQ thumpers are irrepressible. Like death and taxes,
there's no escaping them. They have been with us throughout our lives
and will hound us to our graves. They were our kid brothers and
sisters who tattled to our parents about everything we did in an
effort to vent their frustration at being the weakest members of the
family. They were the teachers' pets in school who were keepers of
the erasers and appointed as class monitors (stool pigeons) whenever
the teacher had to leave the room. In high school they were the hall
monitors. In college, they began to find fewer outlets where they
could enjoy any sort of empowerment so they became the withdrawn
loners who went through four years or more of virtual invisibility to
most people on campus. As adults, they are the neighbors who peer out
from behind their curtains every time they hear so much as a car door
slamming. They are the people who call the cops at the most trivial
or imagined violation of their peace or property. They maintain
mental dossiers on all of their neighbors and are eager to share them
with anyone who gives them an opportunity to recite their gossip. As
coworkers, they are the boss's informers. They'll tell you how lazy a
coworker is and as soon as you are out of earshot, they will tell
someone else how lazy they think you are. If they outlive you, you can
be certain that they will have no qualms whatsoever about verbally
diminishing your existence before your corpse has even grown cold.

Given all the aforementioned, the best thing to do with FAQ thumpers
is to simply kill filter them. You can be sure that by doing so, you
wont miss any genuine content in whatever NG you're in.

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11. Subject: Check this out quickly and respond!

  Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet
  Check this out quickly and respond!
  company and in an effort make sure that Internet explorer
  remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and
  AOL are running an e-mail beta test. When you forward
  this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track
  it (if you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two
  week time period. For every person that you forward
  this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00, for
  every person that you sent it to that forwards it on,
  Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third
  person that receives it, you will be paid $241.00.
  Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for
  your address and then send you a check. I thought this
  was a scam myself, but two weeks after receiving this
  e-mail and forwarding it on, Microsoft contacted me
  for my e-mail and within days, I received a check
  for  $24,800.00.

  You need to respond before the beta testing is over.

  If anyone can afford this Bill Gates is the man.
  It's all marketing expense to him.
  Do Well!!!

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12. Subject: To $pam, or not to $pam: that is the question:

To $pam, or not to $pam: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the Accounts Receivable to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous Net Tyrants of "sanctified commerce",
Or to take up Bulk Advertising against a sea of anonymity,
And by opposing Net Tyranny , to end obscurity? To go Chapter 13: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end our business growth,
The heart-ache and the thousand financial shocks
That a thriving business is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To be bankrupt or wish you were, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream of profit: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of mere employment, what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal business coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect of a thriving business.
By thc with deference to Shakespere

IS IT MADNESS TO SPAM?

Hamlet feigned madness to fight against his powerful, incestuous, murderous,
uncle and usurper King. The big players on the internet are powerful, &
collusively smug. Do you think that they would mourn the death of your free
speech on the Net? They would be happy to see free speech killed, outside
their own realm of course. The small businesses, including your own would
have no way to advertise effectively! Of course you^Rre welcome to wade in
up to your eyeballs in the advertising that BIG UNCLE puts out. So why
don^Rt you people just GET WITH THE PROGRAM, and pay them for their
commercials; and STOP ALL THIS BULK MAILING CRAP? BIG UNCLE knows that
anyone can have the power to reach MILLIONS of people with a message,...
YOUR message.
Professional bulk advertisers have long since learned to harness the power
of mass mailing on the Net. Why bother? It is very profitable, often
amazingly profitable.
Whatever your past attempts may have been at bulk advertising, don't be
discouraged. The careful, sucessful bulk mailer knows how to bulk mail
without offending ISPs or clients. You need to use the right tools and
techniques.
We are offering the premier mail program in use today. A program that can
make Email advertising a key player for your profits, MassiveMaiL).
MassiveMaiL). has been honed every day for months! Why? To make
MassiveMaiL). the most effective and reliable mailer in the world! Our sales
have been to professionals ONLY for the last year. Now at last you can have
access to MassiveMaiL). Not only the program, but the programmers themselves
and technical support you want and need to do bulk mailing effectively.
Entry level for MassiveMaiL). has been sold at $4,995 but is now available
for $2,495 (additional units are only $495.00). We want your small business
to have this power! We have techs on staff that not only know this program,
but use it for their own mass mailings, and are here virtually 24 hours
daily and able to help you get out hundreds of thousands of pieces of E-mail
in a shift. Think about having those MILLIONS OF EYEBALLS on your message.
Call for details and see how MassiveMaiL). can be a key player in your
success!
Ask about our bulk website hosting system.
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"MassiveMail) is more than a program. Its a Solution!"

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13. Subject: hey wassup owNEr NEttIME L ;)

Hey yaw, you not gonna beleive this yo. I found this place that gives ya
access to like soooooo many hacked membership based sex/xxx sites for
free man, no shit!!

Anyway, the secret address is <http://SEX.Interactwithme.com ok? You
jsut go there, and you get secret membership access, for free, too about
(i think) 350 different sites.

when i see ya at school tomorrow, make sure you bring the damn bio sheets
ok?

btw, wtf r u doing using desk.nl anyway?? wtf is up with that yaw, waj
ya chage your addy again? newayz, later... im off to that

<http://SEX.interactwithme.com
site again ;), catcha in class tommorow.

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