Danny O'Brien on Fri, 24 Dec 1999 22:14:32 +0100 (CET)


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<nettime> NTK now, 1999-12-24



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        "Tribe Flood Network and Trinoo launch their attacks from a
        host of innocent computers that already have been broken
        into. Then, on a signal from a master computer, the computers
        simultaneously bombard the victim machine with packets of
        information so fast that it becomes unresponsive. At that
        point, the target computer won't respond to commands and
        can't be taken off the network."
        http://news.cnet.com/news/0-1003-200-1501144.html
                                 ... what, not even by unplugging it?


                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                            "Humbug!", said Scrooge

         It's on nights like this that one naturally turns for
         inspiration to the eternal Christmas story: you know - the
         one where rampant commercialism devours everything in its
         path in the pursuit of a quick buck? LEONARDO FINANCE, a
         French subsidiary of the Transasia Corporation, this week
         launched a lawsuit against the internationally respected
         Association Leonardo, publishers of the multimediatronic
         Leonardo Journal. Transasia claim one million dollars in
         damages on the basis that a search engine search on the word
         "Leonardo" brings up not only their Web site but those of
         the magazine. And so, in this season of goodwill, a
         squad of eight French policeman broke into Leonardo's legal
         address in France - the home of the 80-year old widow of the
         organisations' founder, Frank Malina - and confiscated all
         paperwork with the word "Leonardo" on it. This all
         makes perfect sense. "Leonardo" is a mind-bogglingly unique
         and sufficient descriptor for Transasia's work. And it's not
         as if "Leonardo" practically connotes the whole tradition of
         inventiveness and "prior art". And it's definitely worth
         their while fighting for the word, because once they get
         hold of that whole Leonardo namespace - no matter *who* used
         it before - who else might they go after? How about
         helicopter manufacturers?
         http://mitpress.mit.edu/e-journals/Leonardo/#raid 
         - "He who controls the language, controls the future" 
         http://www.leonardofinance.fr/anglais/ 
         - who'd have thought they'd do it one word at a time?

         And if you think the Namespace Wars will be over before
         Christmas, note that our trusted betters at ICANN are
         planning to move arbitration of domain names to the National
         Arbitration Forum. Will this help in matters such as the
         ongoing battle between etoys.com and etoy.com, where the
         younger, richer, and more commercial company can sue the
         award-winning European artists off the face of the Net?
         Listen to this quote from the NAF Webpages spotted by Lewis
         Shadoff (c/o the excellent Tasty Bits from the Technological
         Frontier discussion list): "Forum arbitrators are not
         permitted to ignore the law and make decisions based on
         'equity'." Equity, for those of you who haven't yet the
         sense to become lawyers, is the principle that justice
         involves fairness as well as the fixed rules of law. No room
         for fairness, or for non-profits too poor to fight back, or
         for the exercise of art: just for the iron rules of law and
         business. Well, we must have our rules. But who's that out
         on the streets of London, wailing up at our window on this
         freezing Christmas Eve?

           "Business!" cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again.
           "Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my
           business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence,
           were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but
           a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my
           business!" 

http://www.literature.org/authors/dickens-charles/christmas-carol/
                      - the owners of www.dickens.com will be furious
http://www.tbtf.com/
                           - and a Merry Newtonmas to all our sources
        

                                >> ANTI-NEWS << 
                             berating the obvious

         MODIFY mails from NSI are now dated Dec 31, 1969 - uh *oh* ...
         BRITISH WEB DESIGN & MARKETING ASSOCIATION ("committed to
         raising standards") now spamming for members ... you're
         leaving this a bit late, guys: http://www.millennium.com/
         and http://www.millenniumdome.com/ ... how many OSes does
         it take to "power" a Website? http://www.daemonnews.org/ ...
         ON DIGITAL in sponsorship deal with Windows error dialogs:
         http://www.ntk.net/doh/19991224ondig.jpg ... first Net
         libel case to use the "don't blame us, we're autistic" defence:
         http://www.ireland.com/scripts/technology/newsshowall.cfm?id=240 ...
         still running on NT, but trying to open source as much
         as possible, it's http://www.linuxanswers.co.uk/Includes/
         ... NETGUIDE equivalent of "Jackie Harvey's Outside Scoop"
         http://www.netguide.com/Snapshot/Archive?guide=computing&id=1536
         suggests we will "see more PCs which will be coming with
         dual drives: one for the CD-ROM and one for a DVD." ...
         searching http://www.eventselector.co.uk/ for aptly-named
         "Comedy" title "Hiss And Boo Show" ...


                               >> EVENT QUEUE << 
                         goto's considered non-harmful

         Jonathan Ungoed-Thomas? Mi2g's bizarre virus warnings? The
         terror of "downloadable internet narcotics"? Yes, the
         competition is fierce for the FIRST INTERNET FREEDOM
         JOURNALISM AWARDS, intended to "name and shame" 1999's worst
         coverage of online issues. And to make the face-off even
         more exciting, you have to nominate your favourite
         scare-mongering fictions before January 1st 2000! (We'll try
         to provide a retrospective as part of next Friday's "Y2K In
         The Office Fun Pack", but thought you'd appreciate the extra
         notice just in case. Some crimes cannot - and must not - go
         unpunished.) http://www.netfreedom.org/
       - there's a "high quality journalism" prize too. Yeah, right.
         http://www.ntk.net/notw/
        - what, no category for "most shameless rent-a-quote pundit"?


                                >> TRACKING <<
                sufficiently advanced technology: the Gathering

         Oooh, a database library! How seasonal! METAKIT is a curious
         mix of flatfile, relational and OODBMS features with a small
         footprint and a big following. For those who don't need a
         heavy-duty SQL solution, it's tight and fast for <100,000
         items, with a snazzy ability to dynamically change data
         structures on the fly. Interfaces are available for Tcl and
         Python, with Perl promised soon. METAKIT has been kicking
         around now for three years or so with good reports, but
         looks to capture even more hearts now that it's - tara! -
         open sourced. Happy Christmas!
         http://www.equi4.com/metakit/intro.html
                       - well, that's Christmas morning taken care of
http://www.sunworld.com/sunworldonline/swol-05-1999/swol-05-regex-2.html
                                - addicts drool for the press


                                >> MEMEPOOL << 
                              hasta la altavista

         seasonal pyrotechnics: http://www.sunplan.com/pp/ ... TOPICA
         buying up more mailing lists ... EWOK apocalypse:
         http://www.geekhaus.co.uk/toybox/ewok.htm ... break into Ion
         Storm's HQ and steal the Daikatana master discs:
         http://www.arrgh.co.uk/ionstorm ... oh, that canny BOFH: THE
         REGISTER pays for the new columns, but who ends up with the
         archive? http://bofh.ntk.net/ is your new, ad-free local
         mirror ... hooray! a pre-millennium socket layer for the
         Z88! http://www.jb.man.ac.uk/~djm/z88dk/zsock/ ... a
         Spectrum ZX81 - now they *are* rare:
         http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=224436737
         ... somebody really *doesn't* want cheap Net access in
         Manchester: http://www.redbricks.org.uk/comms/crisis/matthewa001.htm 


                               >> GEEK MEDIA << 
                                 get out less

         TV>> Andi Peters is compelled to give Disney a free one-hour
         prime-time advert entitled ANDI MEETS TOY STORY 2 (5.25pm,
         Fri, C4)... the ropey movie season continues with Adam
         Sandler/ Brendan Fraser air-guitar collaboration AIRHEADS
         (9pm, Fri, C5), those "Vids" guys dressing up in lizard
         suits for a season of original GODZILLAs (1am, Fri night, C4), 
         and mildly watchable Robin Williams CGI showreel JUMANJI (4pm,
         Christmas Day, BBC1)... and, yes, they did take a few
         "liberties" with the post-apocalyptic Kevin Costner remake
         of IL POSTINO (8.30pm, Christmas Day, BBC2)... don't expect
         the famous fish finger ad to feature in BBC2's 6-hour Orson
         Welles tribute, including some old black and white yawnathon
         called CITIZEN KANE (11.45pm, Christmas Day, BBC2) -
         believed to be the best film ever made, after Star Wars and
         Blade Runner, natch... and C5 weighs in, perhaps
         predictably, with a schedule consisting entirely of Abba and
         porn... this year's junior geekfest ROYAL INSTITUTION
         CHRISTMAS LECTURES (11ish am, Sun-Thu, BBC2) seem to be
         nicked from the pop science paperback "The Arrow Of Time"...
         the MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE (9pm, Sun, BBC1) movie is more
         incomprehensibly convoluted than even the TV show, and - at
         last - reveals long-term "sleeper" Jim Phelps as a traitor...
         after Airheads, the Michael Lehmann disappointments continue
         with THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS AND DOGS (10pm, Mon, BBC2)... and
         smug talentless scum FRENCH AND SAUNDERS (9.50pm, Tue, BBC1)
         dress up as - oh my sides - "The Phantom Menace"... despite
         strong competition, Kathryn Bigelow's optimistically
         millennial STRANGE DAYS (11.15pm, Wed, BBC2) is the *worst
         cyber-VR thriller of all time*... while perfectly capturing
         the closed-off claustrophobia, steadily building pressure,
         and Nazi-like discipline of spending time with your family,
         BBC2 wisely schedules regular showings of U-boat fave DAS
         BOOT (6ish, Sun-Fri, BBC2)...

         FILM>> "We've got a blind date with Destiny - and it looks
         like she's ordered the lobster" chortles wittily scripted
         Ben Stiller/ Janeane Garofalo undermarketed flop comic book
         adaptation MYSTERY MEN (imdb: parody / superhero /
         training), whose top-notch supporting cast - Greg Kinnear,
         Hank Azaria - even makes up for Eddie Izzard and a farting
         Pee-Wee Herman... the increasingly overrated Kevin Smith
         applies his usual laid-back incompetence to predictably
         inoffensive modern-day Life Of Brian-style Catholic
         self-exorcism DOGMA (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ :
         licentious disregard for righteous behavior based on
         Biblical admonitions) - in what may come to be viewed as his
         very own "A Life Less Ordinary"... connoisseurs regret to
         report a failure in meeting previous quality benchmarks in
         largely Kermit-free sci-fi spoof MUPPETS FROM SPACE
         (http://www.capalert.com/capreports/ : nonlegal custody at
         gunpoint; false imprisonment; a child character sitting atop
         a roof; physical violence to gain advantage; Miss Piggy
         gamming - sitting cross-legged intentionally in a very short
         skirt showing as much upper leg as possible)... while Martin
         "Bad Boys" Lawrence takes a short break from his
         intermittently self-destructive behaviour to head up
         competent mistaken-identity Beverly Hills Cop remake BLUE
         STREAK (MPAA: rated PG-13 for action violence, continuous
         language and some crude humor)...

         BUMPER CHRISTMAS TURKEY BONER BONANZA!>> and festive
         greetings to all of ye who cheered last week's "factoring
         primes" faux pas though it was, of course, an allusion to
         Bill Gates' famed goof in his book The Road Ahead rather
         than genuine incompetence on our part. Ahem... extending
         seasonal goodwill slightly further than is usually
         recommended, "Where, oh were is David Brake's weblog?" many
         of you inquired, while not detailing your precise
         motivation. Well, http://blog.org/ is the URL for both
         moderately interesting links *and* Brake's own unique brand
         of earnest, choir-singing commentary... and ADRIAN MOULDER
         once again fell into the trap of assuming our omniscience,
         querying the "flagrant omission" from last week's books &
         zines round-up of both Norman Spinrad's re-released
         trial-by-TV '60s sci-fi classic BUG JACK BARRON and the
         latest issue of HULK comic which features a reader's letter
         from Al "The Pub Landlord" Murray... LLOYD WOOD felt the
         need to come clean over NTK 1999-12- 10's claim that
         "Carrie" at http://www.bluenudes.com/ is wearing "Klingon
         headgear". After re-viewing "Amok Time", Lloyd reports it
         more closely "resembles the thing T'Pau was wearing", and is
         "therefore obviously Vulcan"... but beating even that for
         corrective urgency comes THOMAS KRUEMMER, who (rightly)
         questions Dave Winer's claim [NTK 1999-12-17] that the SS
         were the "secret police in Nazi Germany". It would have been
         hard to keep them that secret, Thomas argues, as they were
         "a second army, but unlike the regular 'Wehrmacht', the SS
         troopers were loyal to the NSDAP party. Later the SS
         received weapons and also heavy equipment, in order to
         outweigh any potential threat to the government from
         officers of the regular army, plus the added benefit of
         being able to commit acts of war which the Wehrmacht might
         have refused to carry out" - hence, presumably, Winer's
         confusion. "I hope Dave is more qualified writing about
         other matters of general interest," Thomas concludes. And a
         Merry Christmas to you, one and all!


                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
           Registered at the Post Office as "holiday, baby, holiday"

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