Biotic Baking Brigade on 11 Oct 2000 04:46:30 -0000

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<nettime> BBB Special Request For Input...Plus More Actions and Updates

Greetings again from Amsterdam!

Though these E-postcards aren't as good as getting real ones through the
post, I hope they aren't lacking in fruitful information or charm.

The first part of this BBB posting, what you are now reading, is a special
communication. I will send it to the 500+ subscribers on this list,
addresses that I've collected, purged and maintained since the autumn of
1998, but will not send it to the media or various listserves/newsgroups.

The purpose of this section is a check-in on where people are at with this
list and where it should go. I never invisioned there to be a BBB list at
first. But the pies started flying, both in the U.S. and abroad, and due to
the pervasive influence of the internet people discovered us and started
writing in from all over to "sign up." I've found that sometimes really good
things begin that way, not with a grand long range plan decided by the
central committee, but by loose-knit groups of people coming together to
create something that takes on a life of its own.

It's the two year anniversary of the Milton Friedman pie incident, which
followed the epic Bill Gates episode by six months. Since the global pastry
uprising kicked off in those heady months, dozens upon dozens of nefarious
characters have received their just desserts served up by the people and
their various movements. BBB agents have met and/or corresponded with
amazing folks from all inhabited regions of the world, fought long-term
battles in courtrooms, and done our best to communicate our issues through
the alternative and mass media without becoming recuperated and/or

Don't worry, I will not wax nostalgically on and on for pages, nor am I
stoned in one of this city's notorious cafes. Rather, I'm attempting to lay
the groundwork leading to a strategical and logistical question which has
been intriguing me for months:

What kind of information do people want to receive through this list, and
how much, how often?

Because I try my best to avoid the mass media in all its shapes and forms, I
rely heavily on news gleaned through email via listserves as well as friends
and comrades. Consequently, I get some really interesting reading material
about resistance movements and actions from around the world. I'm often
tempted to send some of it out to this list, but have been quite stringent
with myself in making sure that almost everything in our posts relates
directly to pie-throwing. So, I must ask:

1) Do people want to read about actions and movements which the BBB
support.....or should the list remain pretty straightforward in its focus on
pies and the reasons behind the individuals/groups taking Pie-rect Action?
In addition, to people want to just read action reports, or what about pie
poems, action anecdotes, songlyrics, history, humour as political activism
and burlesque terrorism, etc.?

2) What do people think about the frequency and length of the BBB posts?

3) Do people have critiques/comments/input on the state of the radical
pastry movement and its future? As can be seen below, folks are adding new
tools to the toolbox with the addition of chocalate milk and salmon souffle
as cuilinary weapons-de-guerre.

4) Critiques/comments/input on our BBB website....

Thanks in advance for responding, it will be great to hear more about what
people are thinking. Usually the comments we receive our limited to "Great
job blah blah blah" on the one side  or "You people are outrageous criminals
blah blah blah" on the other, lacking specifics in either case.

I've begun searching for a publisher to publish a book on the history,
theory, and dialectics of pie-throwing. It would include recipies of course.
A previous publisher appears to have fallen through on its commitment to
print it. If anyone can help with this delicious project, please contact us.

Lastly, I will close this section with an appeal. While our labor in this
situationist struggle with the global titans is strictly volunteer, we do
incur expenses for our website/email account, satellite communications from
our underground headquarters in the heart of the Headwaters forest, travel
costs, postage, disguise accessories, cloak-and-dagger spy gadgets, and of
course, baking ingredients. If you can spare it, please send some financial
support to the snail mail address at the end. Checks/money orders can be
made out to "Friends of the BBB." However, the best way to support the BBB
is to take Pie-rect Action!

Let's do all that we can, while we still can, to bring about a society based
on mutual aid, voluntary cooperation, bio/cultural diversity, and the
liberation of desire.

Pie in the sky is not always a lie,
Agent Apple for the BBB


There is this incredible squat in Amsterdam called Kalenderpanden, an
enormous old warehouse alongside a picturesque canal. A brilliant crew of
folks have been using it for years to host events, dinners, theater,
concerts, and meetings. Predictably enough, developers are using the city
government to destroy the place in favor of yuppie apartments and to create
a "breeding ground" (their term) for high-paid artists! Just like San
Francisco and many other places in Amerika. It's really sad to be here and
see the desperation among the squatters as Holland seems to be following
Germany's lead in crushing the movement. Yet the squatters fighting back
with a creative resistance of the heart against business as usual, and have
a lot of support among the Dutch population and even certain sectors of
government. The following caps a series of fantastic actions:

Sunday, October 8, Amsterdam City Councillor Pauline Krikke was hit smack
in the face twice by cream pies from the 'Bakers without Borders
Amsterdam division'. Krikke had just opened the new shopping district
Nieuwe Dijk and was accompanied by a bunch of hot shots, amongst them
the chiefs of police who started to pursuit the pie-throwers. With the
help of a policeman on a motorcycle, who let his bike fall down in the
pursuit, two arrests were made. The arrested were let free the next day.

Councillor Krikke is responsible for the comming eviction of a huge and
popular squat in Amsterdam, called De Kalenderpanden (see: for a photo of the sad councillor whiping
cream off her face). The Kalenderpanden will be evicted for a
development agency to build luxurious appartments for yuppies.

More to come.... Patissiers Sans Borderes

PS: Iım sure Councillor Krikke would love to receive comments on her
neoliberal policies. She can be reached at <>


Time for change of clothes, government: Day
WebPosted Fri Oct 6 08:24:24 2000

KITCHENER, ONT. - A protester threw chocolate milk at the leader of the
Canadian Alliance Thursday night, just as Stockwell Day was outlining his
party's platform for the next election.

[ IMAGE: Day has chocolate milk thrown on him]

A startled Day quickly began cracking jokes about the attack, as security
staff escorted a suspect away.

Day then left the stage for a few minutes, returning with a new shirt, tie,
and a few more wisecracks before returning to his speech.

"Boy if there's any time I needed a wet suit," he said, referring to a
recent interview with reporters in B.C. that critics complained was more
about image than substance. After winning a byelection last month, Day
roared up to a news conference in a water craft and skin-tight outfit.

Some political observers called Thursday's assault disturbing, especially
in light of what happened to Jean Chretien in Prince Edward Island this
summer. In August, a protester shoved a pie in the prime minister's face,
raising concern about the safety of political leaders in public.


Anti-Environmental U.S. Senator "Salmon Souffled"

Helen Chenowith was faced with a salmon
whip cream pie during her opening statements at a
congressional field hearing on forest health( or the
destruction there of). A press release claiming
responsibility and explaining the apropriatness of the
target was sent out by A group calling themselves the
"salmon souffle society". Randall Mark was arrested on
state felony assault charges ,when bail was reduced to
an affordable level the feds put a detainer on him for
a federal probation violation out of moscow Idaho, now
Missoula feds have charged him with 2 counts of
assualt on a federal employee and are detaining him
till trial ,the date is set for november 13 . Another
congressmen Rick hill was seated next to Helen so that
is why there are 2 charges . A legal defense fund has
been setup and checks can be made out to the Randall
Mark Legal defense fund and cash can be sent to
                       Randall Mark L.D.F
                       P.O box 8452
                       Moscow,Idaho 83843
We have managed to raise enough money for a retainer
fee for his laywer but still need 1000 dollars more to
provide adequate defense. Randy is being seriously
screwed around with by multiple jurisdictions and the
charges filed against him are a clear example of
vindictive state/federal repression of political
action.Congress woman Chenowith was quoted in the news
after the pieing stating "Were not going to let this
one go". The reality is we are in Idaho and Montana
Where this kind of pie dont fly and unless we can
provide randy with a good attorney he is going to
remain locked up for a really long time .
                         in defense of insurgents,
    For more info : Randall mark L.D.F 208 892 8744 or
you can email


Chretien Pie Update (and Appeal for Legal Donations)

It's been a few weeks since Chretien was pied, and the dust has begun to
settle. Many thanks to everyone who has offered moral, verbal, financial,
 or other varieties of support, but things have really only just begun.

Some Details:
On August 16, Evan Brown was arrested and charged with "Assault" for pieing
Jean Chretien over genetically engineered food and the government's other

Over the next few days, Aaron Koleszar spoke with local, national, and
media, as Evan's lawyer had advised Evan not to. Coverage was widespread,
 and usually touched on why it was done, yet there was generally a lack
of depth in the coverage of "why". Most media seemed more concerned about
"Chretien's security" (thanks in part to Chretien's speedy PR team -
I believe it is) and paid little heed to the security of the other residents
of Canada and this planet. Most PEI media complained that this was an
 childish, immature, etc. Despite the mass media slant (surpies), the
was communicated far and wide. Besides, this picture speaks louder than
a million words.

PEI is a place where it is strongly frowned upon to step outside of accepted
boundaries, and there are always repercussions if you do step outside those
boundaries, especially when dealing with politics. The morning after
was pied, Evan Brown was scheduled to go for a job interview at the Inn
on the Hill.  He was quite qualified for the position, but before the
he was called and told not to bother coming for the interview. A play Evan
was in was also cancelled. The fella who runs the Kings playhouse is a good
Liberal. These are but two of the repercussions.

The RCMP has been questioning/harrassing many people suspected of being
involved and also relatives, friends, neighbors, and employers of people
suspected of being involved. We have some questions about jurisdiction and
who is doing the investigation. The RCMP seems to be giving different people
different stories.

On August 31, the Charlottetown City Police informed Aaron Koleszar, a
and spokesperson of the PEI Pie Brigade, that there is a possibility that
charges will be laid against him as well.

At Evan's August 31 plea hearing, the judge allowed a 2-week postponement,
 due to insufficient disclosure by the crown. The crown did not disclose
any of the evidence gathered by RCMP questioning. So Evan's plea hearing
was rescheduled for September 14. Then a trial date will be set, likely
within a month or two, and Chretien could be required to appear. There are
a number of good legal arguments and precedents for us to use in court,
and our lawyer is working on an interesting strategy.

If anyone happened to record TV or radio coverage, let us know. We'd be
very interested in getting a copy.

The PEI Pie Brigade also requests your assistance to help cover the mounting
legal costs related to the pieing of Jean Chretien. If you can donate a
little or a lot, that would be a big help. If you can't, we understand.

Toward a better future,
The PEI Pie Brigade

Make cheques payable to MacLeod, Crane, and Parkman (In trust re: pie) and
send to:

Attention: James Hornby
MacLeod, Crane, and Parkman
PO Box 1056
Charlottetown, PEI
C1A 7M4

To reach the PEI Pie Brigade, contact:
To reach Jim Hornby (lawyer) call:  902-892-3544

For Chretien Pie related info, visit:
Les Entartistes Website:
The Biotic Baking Brigade Website:


"The History of the Biotic Baking Brigade"
--Compieled by BBB Agents Apple and Shoo-fly
[From the forthcoming Earth First! Journal 20th Anniversary Special Edition.
Contact the EF! Journal via <> for more subscription and
order information]

Little is known about the true origins of the Biotic Baking Brigade (BBB).
Some say it grew out of the Whiskey Rebellion in the late 1700s in
Pennsylvania; others say it began in a feud between two bakeries in Paris
during the mid-1800s. However, after much painstaking research, our agents
have uncovered the first known account of the pastry uprising.
Set in Habsburg Dynasty Spain in the early 1600s. Philip IV, who succeeded
to the throne 1621, preferred culture to politics, and allowed Gaspar de
Guzm·n conde de Olivares to run the government. Olivares' efforts to
increase taxation and conscription led to revolt in 1640, first in
Catalonia and then in Portugal.

A small group of bakers were fed up with Olivares, and formed an
underground resistance group called La Brigada Biotic de la Hornada. They
plotted an attack on Olivares, and in a show of solidarity with Portugal
and Catalonia, they made their move late one evening when he was
entertaining the Prince of Austria, another member of the Habsburg Dynasty.
The bakers posed as royal chefs, and just as dinner was being served they
delivered him his just desserts. The agent yelled "°DÈ Portugal de nuevo a
la gente!" (Give Portugal back to the people!) as she hurled the pie
directly into Olivares' face.

Since this action, numerous pies have been tossed in many deserving faces,
all around the world. What follows below is an account of the BBB's origins
within Earth First!.

The story begins with a mud-slinging contest in the hallowed pages of the
EF! Journal after a few folks said they would have pied Ed Abbey had the
chance arizen:

Subject: Dear Shit fer Brains... May 1, 1989
Dear Comrades,
Amidst the mourning and merry-waking [sic], we make this warning: The
Biotic Baking Brigade of °Mirth First! first formed with the intention,
among others, of delivering a lovely refried-bean pie unto the venerated
visage of the late lamented author [Ed Abbey]. However, he has since
slipped our slapstick and is beyond the range of even more accurate
pie-flingers than the Relentless Fanatic. Heaven and Hell alike may turn
him back at the border but the Earth will digest him as it does all. The
frijole torte remains. It waits for the face of bigotry and fascism to show
itself again, or for the crassest eulogist to the "anarchist" who loved
borders. Nopale Ed knows no limits now. Neither do we.
-Simon "Chico" Zapotes and BBB, °Mirth First!

Subject: Dear Shit fer Brains... June 21, 1989
Dear Cranial Feces,
To paraphrase Merle Haggard, "If you're runnin' down Ed Abbey, man, you're
walkin' on the fightin' side of me." I direct this comment to "Simon
'Chico' Zapotes and BBB, °Mirth First!" your letter last Journal crossed
the line. Ed Abbey was my friend, and a great man. I'm honored to have
known him and am angered by those pretentious juvenile ideologues who
insult his name. Come forth! Identify yourselves, you cowardly scum, and
take responsibility for the slime which leaks from your ideologically
enslaved brains to your slovenly pens.
I hope to meet you in some dark lonely place. Soon.
For the Earth First!,
-Howie Wolke, Darby, MT

Subject: Dear Shit fer Brains... September 22, 1989
Dear EF! & Howie,
In response to your letter in the last Journal, the Revolutionary
Ecoterrorist Pie Brigade has this to say: to set the record straight, we
are in no way affiliated with the Biocentric Baker's Brigade ! (BBB) [sic].
We purged that faction for their deviationist ideology, revisionist
interpretations of the Unassailable Doctrines and for their vanguardist
tendencies. They engage in petty boulangerie hooliganism for the
furtherance of their hidden agenda and are usurpers! They dared to mock
Betty-Crocker-Thought with their infantile propaganda! We have nothing to
do with such counterrevolutionary decadence. We, the REPB, are the leading
proponents of culinary terrorism and have mastered the science of Pastry
Revolution. We are preparing to lead the masses on to Global Ecological
Paradise using their Historically Available Instrument of eco-meringue and
pretentious ideology. We have the correct line on The-Way-It-Is and anyone
who is offended by this letter deserves to be!
-Chairman Mikal, REPB.
PS No, Howie, I didn't write either the BBB or °Mirth First! letters if you
might possibly be thinking that. However, it was Simon "Chico" Z., myself
and another who originated the idea of giving Abbey a frijole pie! And he
would've loved it! Too bad we never got the chance. But, oh well, there are
other deserving faces... (if you know what I mean).

Subject: Dear Shit fer Brains... September 22, 1989
O Brave Beloved Biotic Compadres,
Suffer me speech a short span whilst I return the glove which one of our
fellow EF! followers has foolishly flung at my feet. Howie Wolke of Darby,
MT seems to have a beef about my last letter. Apparently the late Prosaic
Laureate of ecocentrism is a sacred cow, and Howie has moved into the ring
to defend him, while I remain in the shadows. I mistook him for a sacred
clown. The value of sacred clowns, of mudhead kachinas in their mudpie
kitchens, is that by ruthlessly criticizing everyone they allow us finally,
after the mud has settled, to embrace each other honestly, knowing fully
who we are. Especially because we are constantly challenging loggers and
other industrial addicts to fundamentally change their lives, we should
ourselves be willing to accept challenges to our fundamental behaviors,
such as diet and relationships. Blind tolerance such as some have preached
will only result in a false calm until our docility is disrupted by a
panicked intolerance and we are stampeded to slaughter. Sacred clowns try
to wake the herd up before we get to the cliffs. Why, then, do I remain
outside the firelight? Anonymity is essential to sacred clowns, so the
laughing stock responds not to them but to the issues. (My beckoning boxer
is far beefier than I, and I doubt I would find his fighting side much
prettier than his wit.) Moreover I do not stalk prey in the open; I like to
stay hidden on the edges. There are others here in the brush, and a good
reason why many of us use different names is so They (the industrial
steering committee) won't know quite who or how many we are. And when
you've hunted yourself it makes sense to stay in the woods. Finally, I find
the names I choose myself certainly as real as my legal, Christian name. I
am an ambling mammal labeled numerous names. Amongst others,
I remain truly, -Simon "Coyote" Zapotes
PS Howie: I'm not who you think, i.e. my initials have never been M.J., but
I'll bet that when the pie hits, he and E.A. will be laughing together 'til
the cows go home.

But no pies had yet been thrown under that name until Judi Bari took
Pie-rect Action...

In the spring of 1994, the BBB embraced Judi Bari as their newest name
agent. The pie-ee was attorney Mark Goldowitz of Oakland, who represented
Nick Wilson, Beth Both and some other homeowners from the Albion,
California, area who were being sued by Louisiana Pacific (LP) over a 54
day, 15 treesit 1992 mega-action called the Albion Nation Uprising.
Goldowitz claimed to be a SLAPP (Strategic Lawsuits Against Public
Participation) suit specialist and was involved in the drafting of
California's first anti-SLAPP law, which was sponsored by Bill Lockyer our
new attorney general, then a legislator. Goldowitz sucked about $60,000 out
of one activist's homeowners insurance policy for a few months work, but
was unsuccessful in getting anyone out of the LP SLAPP suit. Earth
First!ers and Albion residents were pissed at him for being such a gold
digger (we called him Mark Goldiggerwitz). If the other homeowners'
insurance companies had all been paying at the same rate, Goldowitz would
have taken in over $500,000 for less than six months work.

Judi Bari had been long scheduled to do a panel on SLAPP suits at the
Oregon conference. Goldowitz showed up and refused to take part in her
panel, but took copious notes during her presentation, then got himself
scheduled at the last minute to do a separate presentation that afternoon
at a time conflicting Judi's repeated panel. Her morning panel was lightly
attended due to schedule conflicts with other popular activities and panels.
Judi decided, most likely before the conference, that Goldowitz needed
pastry therapy, but his arrogant behavior sealed his fate. Unfortunately,
having been a bomb victim, Judi was unable to physically throw a pie with
any amount of force herself (she was a brown belt and extremely agile
before the bombing). So Judi recruited on the spot an instant member of the
BBB. Together they walked up to Goldiggerwitz in the hallway of the
university and heaved a pie at him, gracing him with his just desserts.


"pie warfare"

speaking pie to power--
discussion with a crust--
a flan for all seasons--
we fling because we must.
to pitch a perfect pastry--
to see them whipped and creamed--
to know that in the boardroom
they're really getting steamed.
it gives the suits conniptions--
they're taking off their ties--
they're rolling up their shirtsleeves--
look out! they're grabbing pies!

--Dennis Fritzinger, Poet Laurate of the global pastry uprising


"Better to pie on your feet than live on your knees!" --Zapata

The Biotic Baking Brigade.....coming soon to a "pie-o-region" near you.                    

Friends of the BBB: c/o POB 40130, San Francisco, CA 94111, Amerika


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