qgabriel on Wed, 7 Oct 1998 09:23:58 +0100


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Syndicate: Help! (friend of Becha) - an American from Belgrade, en route to Germany


Hello all!

    My name is Kiyu Gabriel (first name pronounced like the letter Q -
"kyoo" or "kjoo", depending on how you pronounce y or j).  I am a friend
of Becha Manojlovic.  I am an American and I currently live in Belgrade,
Yugoslavia (Serbia - Montenegro - however you prefer to call it).  Due
to the growing situation in Yugoslavia involving Kosovo and NATO, I have
decided to leave the country.  For many reasons, I which I will explain
later in this letter if you wish to read it (it is somewhat detailed, as
it should be), I would like to go to Germany.  My problem is that I do
not know a single person there or where I could go for temporary
housing.  I am seeking (begging?) the help of someone who could provide
me with a place to sleep for a few days while I look for an apartment or
other more permanent place to stay.  Even better would be if someone
needs a roommate or knows of someone else who needs one. I am planning
on leaving Serbia by bus on Friday, the 9th of October. I know this is
short notice, but if you can, PLEASE HELP!  My email address is:

qg@mail.com

My phone number in Belgrade is (this is how I call from the US, I don't
know how it works from other countries)

011-381-11-496-829

    So that everyone can get to know me better, I will herein provide a
more detailed explanation of who I am, why I am here (in Yugoslavia),
why I am leaving now, and why I would like to go to Germany.

    First, I am an American, born in Memphis, Tennessee.  My current
residence
in the US is in Branson, Missouri.  I am a male, 23, a web site
administrator and programmer.  Because of the nature of my work, I can
perform all of the tasks required of me from anywhere on the planet I
have a good Internet connection, leaving me to pursue my passion -
languages, people and culture.  I first began traveling when I was 16,
as an exchange student to Japan, where I lived for a year.  After this,
in the US, I spent several years studying and working, as well as
starting my own company, doing what I do now.  2 years ago, in the town
where I live in the US, the theme park there (Silver Dollar City, for
those who may have heard of it) hosted what it called "World Fest".  It
had dance groups from all over the world come to perform for several
weeks there.  One of the groups was from Yugoslavia.  Upon talking to
the members of this group, the desire to KNOW the rest of the world that
was in me, which had been drowned out by so many hours of studying and
working, was revitalized, and I decided I must visit their country and
learn their language.  At the time, my company was much weaker than it
is now, but I decided that this was more important, saved up as much
money as I could, borrowed an old laptop, and came here to Yugoslavia
and lived, learned and had many wonderful experiences; however, for only
4 months.  After 4 months I did not have enough money to maintain an
apartment, nor even my visa to Serbia.  I returned to the United States
and have been working for the last year and a half to get my company on
its feet and doing what I am doing now.  I returned to Serbia about 3
weeks ago.  Things at that time were bad, but no worse than what they
had been the last time.  However, since then, things have gotten worse.
So far, not a single person here has been anything but respectful,
helpful, and very, very interesting.  They have gone out of their way to
assist me with my learning of Serbian - which I use well enough to
converse in medium difficulty discussions, understand most everything of
what I hear, and read a newspaper in either of their alphabets
(understanding basically what is being said) - exposing me to all things
Serbian (culture, dance, food, entertainment, way of thinking, etc.)

    However, even if NATO does not decide to use military intervention
to stop the atrocities in Kosovo, recently, because of so much talk of
it, I have felt some attitudes beginning to change, especially towards
Americans.  In the event that NATO does bomb this area, deaths will
surely result, and I know that in most any culture, that would produce
*at least* some backlash, possibly a large one, depending on the scale
of the deaths.  For many of the people I have met here, I was the first,
and to date ONLY American they had ever met.  They attached to me all of
the stereotypes they hold of Americans - good and bad - as if I were
America itself.  I really do not wish to become a living symbol of the
killing that my country would be involved in here if NATO does attack.
Even if a decision is not given to attack tomorrow (I write this on
Tuesday), I believe that it will come eventually based on what I know of
the government's way of thinking here.  Therefore, I have decided, and
all of my friends have suggested to me, that I leave the country, at
least for the time being.  Therefore, I am leaving.

    Now the up side:  I had planned to go to Germany anyway, although
not *this* soon.  I look forward to beginning the language learning
process again and being exposed to a brand new culture, again.  Germany,
however, is particularly interesting to me.  Similarly to the Japanese,
I have found that the products they produce are regarded as the best in
their class in their respective parts of the world.  To me this is a
reflection of the people and the way they think.  Yugoslavia,
(unfortunately) could exemplify the opposite end of the spectrum.
However, because the products they produce lack quality, does not mean
the people lack quality - the Yugoslav people know how to relax, which I
feel is an undervalued quality.  (I should note here, to their defense,
that contrary to media-pushed world stereotype, "Serbs" are not some
sort of innate killers or anything even negative - EVERY Serb I know is
a normal person, just like any normal person I have met in the US,
Japan, or from other parts of the world.  However, the killing that
their military and government is doing in Kosovo is WRONG.)  Anyway, I
KNOW there is a tremendous amount more to the German people and their
way of life.  However, I have not been exposed to that yet, and I have
not yet worked out my theory on how I can extrapolate government,
climate, political feel, economic culture,  marriage customs, the taste
of national foods/dishes, and the smell of flowers indigenous to the
region from the cars a country produces!  :-)  Until I have that theory
down, I will have to continue traveling and learning, which is just fine
with me!

    In learning Japanese and Serbian both, I lived in the areas where
the language is most "cleanly" spoken, in order to learn the language
best.  In Japan, that is Tokyo, which is the standard for the country,
in Serbia, it is Valjevo, a medium-sized town 100 km south of Belgrade,
which is where I lived last time I was here and learned my Serbian
foundation.  I have been told by more than one person (not to say that
this is fact or to insult anyone not from this area) that the northern
part of Germany speaks the "cleanest" German.  It is my goal to get an
apartment shared with one or more native German speakers in or near a
city where I can get a balance of everything I want: culture, language,
Internet access.  Based on what I know, I think Berlin would be best.
So if you live in Berlin or know how I could live thereabouts (or if I
am mistaken in my presumptions), please let me know.  Also, I would like
to find a way that I can get to know *really German* Germans (please
forgive the expression).  I have found in the past that these are the
people who were born in a country, speak only that country's language,
and really only know the ways of that country.  I have found that those
more "internationalized" people all are a watered down version of the
people of their country as a stereotype.  I am a VERY watered down
American, and I am seeking to be even more watered down because I feel
that as I "dilute" myself as a "pure" American, I better myself, enrich
myself, and I can see life through clearer eyes.  This is not to say
that I or anyone else who is enriched in this way is any "better" than
that person who knows/cares nothing of other countries and people - to
each their own such that they are happy.  In Japan I lived with Japanese
families.  Here I did this by spending a tremendous amount of time with
several families in Valjevo.  These people, I could say were *really
Serbian* Serbs.  Any families available?

    For those that would like to know, I am a Christian, but associate
myself with no institution of man (Catholic, Baptist, Lutheran, etc.) -
only that I believe in and try to live that instruction most fundamental
to Christianity - Love one-another.  I do not judge other religions as
wrong.  I accept those that believe what they believe.

    As another note, I do not smoke and do not drink - by choice, which
has nothing to do with my religion - I just don't like smoke (although,
as anyone who has ever lived in Serbia must know, I have learned to
tolerate it as probably70%+ of the people here smoke) and I don't like
how alcohol tastes nor how I feel for the three days AFTER I drink
alcohol.  I enjoy thinking clearly and quickly, which, in me, these
things impede.  Here, a majority of the people I know and spend my time
with do both.  I say this to indicate that if YOU smoke and drink and
are contemplating letting me stay with you, I DON'T MIND!!!  :-)  As far
as food goes, I am always open to try anything.  My favorite food is
Sushi, which I gagged at the thought of initially.  I feel that if I
don't try it, I am possibly missing out on something really wonderful!

    In the future, I plan to move on to learn another language and
culture.  If any of those reading this would like to meet me and live in
places other than Germany, please send me an email anyway!  I would like
to meet you too!  In all truth, even if you DON'T have a place for me to
stay, or anything at all, I would still like to meet anyone reading this
email/posting.  Please send me an email anyway!

--
YBIC,
 Kiyu Gabriel
--------------------------------------------
â??Every day millions of people wish for immortality who
don't know what to do with themselves on a Sunday afternoon.â?? ;-)