Nettime mailing list archives

<nettime> Fwd: Bush II Never President, Historians Conclude
Bruce Sterling on Mon, 6 Jan 2003 06:47:13 +0100 (CET)

[Date Prev] [Date Next] [Thread Prev] [Thread Next] [Date Index] [Thread Index]

<nettime> Fwd: Bush II Never President, Historians Conclude

*He's a genius -- bruces

Begin forwarded message:

> From: "futurefeedforward" <fff {AT} futurefeedforward.com>
> Date: Sun Jan 5, 2003  16:13:25 US/Central
> To: bruces {AT} well.com
> Subject: Bush II Never President, Historians Conclude
> January 13, 2081
> Bush II Never President, Historians Conclude
> WASHINGTON DC--In the most recent issue of the Proceedings
> of the Archivist of the United States, a crack team of
> historians lead by Harvard Professor Emeritus Ruth Ascidy
> announced the conclusion of a sixteen year study of the 43rd
> U.S. President during which the team determined "to a
> degree approaching absolute historical certainty" that
> "the 43rd President of the United States was not, as
> supposed by some popular conspiracy theories, George W.
> Bush."
> The study, commissioned jointly by the Office of the
> Archivist and the Smithsonian Institute's Committee on
> Special Inquiries, aims to put to rest decades of
> speculation about the actual identity of the 43rd
> President.  "Gore's presidency has been a hotly disputed
> issue in the popular media," explains Professor Ascidy.
> "And, though theories claiming a Bush presidency have not
> been taken seriously among academic historians, the
> Committee felt that the 'Bush question' should be put to
> rest once and for all."
> Based on more than 1,300 interviews with surviving
> eyewitnesses and exhaustive searches of media archives in
> 23 countries and 48 languages, the study concludes that
> there is "overwhelming and incontrovertible evidence
> favoring the majoritarian view" that Gore was the 43rd
> President.  "We found that claims by Bushites concerning
> the number of extant reports from the period describing or
> referring to George Bush as the 43rd President are greatly
> exaggerated," notes Ascidy.  "That is not to say that they do
> not exist, but simply that the few that do exist can be put
> down largely to typographical error."
> Claims about an "international, revisionist conspiracy"
> to "paper over" a Bush Presidency with a "paper figurehead"
> first surfaced in the work of Hugh Macadam, a self-taught
> Illinois bookmaker and raconteur whose 'The First
> President on the Moon' is a fundamental text for most Bush
> theorists.  Macadam's book publicized for the first time
> the existence of a number of sources, in particular two
> series of high school history textbooks, describing a
> history in every way identical to the consensus history
> save that all references to President Gore were replaced
> with references to a "President Bush."
> "What can explain this substitution?" asked Macadam.
> "This is not a 'Dewey Wins' situation.  These books were
> published years after Gore's supposed presidency.  I'll
> tell you what these texts are, they are crumbs of the truth,
> evidence that puts the lie to the so called history with
> which the Establishment has tried to dupe us all these
> years."
> "The Committee looked in detail at all supposed
> counter-historical documents, including those
> emphasized by Mr. Macadam," explains Professor Ascidy.
> "In every case, without exception, a much more plausible
> explanation existed, including simple confusion and
> occasional misconception among editors and typesetters.
> If the massive conspiracy hypothesized by Mr. Macadam
> exists, we could find no evidence of it."
> The study has received a cool reception among Bush
> theorists.  "It's a sham," exclaims Brian Secondi,
> Executive Director of the 43rds, a DC-area group of Bush
> enthusiasts.  "It's really more notable for what it leaves
> out than for what it resolves.  Sure, they address some of the
> publications, but they don't even mention the
> well-documented meetings between prominent members of
> the Democratic Party and Redroe Boudaine.  This is no
> regular conspiracy.  Something of this scale could only be
> pulled off through abuse of the revisionist, time-bending
> technology that Boudaine controls.  Ask yourself why the
> Committee didn't look into Futurefeedforward and its
> activities.  I'll tell you why:  A Cayman slush fund.  A
> hands-off regulatory policy towards 'temporal
> networking.'  You have no idea how deep this goes."
> Ascidy, responding to charges that the study is flawed,
> dismissed speculation about the possibility of
> revisionism facilitated by temporal technologies as
> "na‘ve" and "the product of imaginations that continue to
> doubt the Apollo landing."
> ____________________________________________________________
> This futurefeedforward story was sent to you as a subscriber
> to futurefeedforward.
> For a history of the future, see our timeline at
> http://futurefeedforward.com/timeline.php
> For an archive of our stories, see
> http://futurefeedforward.com/archive.php
> If you would like to be removed from this list, see
> http://futurefeedforward.com/unsubscribe.php
> ____________________________________________________________

#  distributed via <nettime>: no commercial use without permission
#  <nettime> is a moderated mailing list for net criticism,
#  collaborative text filtering and cultural politics of the nets
#  more info: majordomo {AT} bbs.thing.net and "info nettime-l" in the msg body
#  archive: http://www.nettime.org contact: nettime {AT} bbs.thing.net